Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Humour in Death, Burial Practices, and Remembrance

First off, I've revised my weekly drop from last week (Avatar = racist). Dude was a no-show, so I figured I might as well write something.


In light of recent tragedies, I've decided to write about one of the funniest subjects EVER - death! Not a lot of funny find it funny(a few memorable examples come to mind), but a great handful think it's hilarious (myself included).

By the way...Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked the tectonic plates. Shortly after, 200 000 Haitians died. Sorry, was that too soon? :D

Back to the topic at hand: what do I want to happen to me when I die? The answer is, that I don't care. I've got preferences, but at the end of the day, I'm dead. It's not that I won't care, it's that I can't care.

Every now and then, I tell my mom that I don't want to be buried traditionally. I do this for 4 reasons:

- It's a waste of money

- I'm dead

- It's a waste of resources (wood, metal, etc.)

- It's hilarious 'cause she gets really offended

Why does it matter which $10 000 dollar coffin I'm going to decompose in? Why does it matter whether this coffin is varnished or not? I would LOVE to be buried in a makeshift coffin (with nails sticking out, splinters, and crooked dimensions), 'cause at least that's funny.

I'd like to get into the reasons why I don't care. Besides the fact that I'm makes absolutely no sense whatsoever! I'm not that special. Sure we're all unique in our own way (and the world's full of beautiful flowers, rainbows, unicorns, and people that all get along...) - but I'll just be another thing that's dead. Most animals don't get buried, and I don't expect an exception to be made for me. Even if I did accomplish something great and respectable when I died, I don't see what good I'd be buried in the ground, decomposing away. I might as well be fertilizer.

Which brings me to my next point: I wouldn't mind being fertilizer. Forget this "cremate-me-and-throw-me-in-the-ocean-so-I-can-be-one-with-it" crap. Use me as fertilizer. At least I'll be giving back to nature - something that's given to me all my life. I've used up enough of nature's resources without ever recycling or giving back - I figure it's the very least I could do. Or you could feed me to some cannibalistic animal (like pigs). Or my body could be donated to science/research. It doesn't matter.

OR I could be cremated, given to my greatest enemy (at my time of death), and let them throw me in the garbage. I don't give a shit, Not only will I be too dead to be offended... It'd also be pretty funny.

Any of these options are preferable to being buried in the ground or being an organ donor .

I hope I've managed to shake up your views on death, even if it's just a little bit.

I don't think that a tombstone should be what people are remembered by. I don't even think that a porcelain vase full of ashes would be any better. I'd even prefer NOT being remembered to any of those... But if I am remebered, I'd rather it be in memory - through people's ideas and thoughts.

I would be honoured to be remembered that way - through the thoughts of the people that have managed to leave their impressions on me before I died. I'd rather be remebered mentally, than physically. When I go to funerals, I don't pay my respects to their corpse, I pay my respects to how they affected my life.

I can do that with or without the tombstone/urn/or any physical representation of them. And hopefully, so can you.


- knowledge


P.S. Thanks to everyone who frequents, tries to frequent, or has read my blog. The numbers are a lot higher than I expected (about 60 more, if you want to be specific). It is appreciated & stop being so damn wary to comment!

& for anyone who hasn't figured it out...if I refer to something that most people generally don't know about in my posts...there's usually a link. Sometimes the link doesn't come up as a different colour, so it's easy to miss.

& also, I hope to see some of you at The Great Time Debate


  1. I agree with you on this one. We shouldn't need physical things to be remembered by. Hopefully when I die, I will be remembered by what I did and said and not by an ugly monument in the ground/wall. I also think its pretty dumb to spend all that money on someone who's dead. You could spend a million dollars on that person and they wouldn't know the difference... THEIR DEAD! As for me, I think it would be pretty cool to be cremated. Not so that my ashes could be spread around, or that my family could keep the ashes. I just think it would be a cool way to get rid of my body. I always had a fascination with fire so i guess it would be appropriate. Either that or I would donate my body to science. I don't see how anything but good can come from that...
    - Martone

  2. @ Martone:
    "Either that or I would donate my body to science. I don't see how anything but good can come from that..."
    Unless they somehow made you into a zombie super-soldier who kills babies, women, and ethnic minorities...

    Some people have decided to donate their bodies to exhibitions like body worlds ( - they're preserved bodies that are literally inside-out. Pretty interesting stuff, if you ask me...even though you didn't. haha

    - knowledge

  3. Alright man, I'll make sure to give your ashes to Jen's boyfriend.

    - A.Nate

  4. ^ hahahaha...Well-played. I'm trying to figure out if I'm good enough to be thrown in the green bin, or if I'm not worthy of the traditional garbage can.

    - knowledge

  5. ahahah OMG I just read the previous previous comment it's preeetyyy funny. Ps. everyone knows organic materials should be in the green bin I'll make sure to let them know recycling you is the best way to do it.

    Anywayz, haven't given death much thought I or how how I should be disposed of. Never thought of that but hopefully when I do die I hope I don't die ugly. LOL sounds soo superficial but I don't care how they dispatch of my body just as long as the way I die does not affect my appearance after that they can do what they wish. Actually scratch that I want to be donated to a hospital so they can learn through me. Hopefully though whatever they say about still feeling things while your dead is not true cuz scalpels hurt! =D

  6. TO A.NATE
    shut up lmao. he doesn't hate you knowledge! :)

    lmao love this post. haha the chuck norris joke was so funny. i want my organs to be donated to people who need them. i've decided this ages ago. the only time that this isn't going to work is if i die from really old age with like nasty organs n shit (sorry to say).

    i think that funerals and burials are so important to people now a days because it's a cultural universal that people have traditional rituals for all over the world that date back to FOREVER. every society has their own way of paying respect to the dead and i think that is the importance of the rituals- the respect to the dead and just throwing around bodies, using them as objects, laying them around seems "backwards" and "disrespectful". i guess it's from our socialization and the traditions that make people uncomfortable with the way you feel or why your mom gets upset (that shouldn't be funny since i can imagine how appalled she felt but it's so funny).




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