Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why Nice Guys Finish Last

I know it's been covered before, but I did a quick search and couldn't find anything that covered it from my angle. 

I see a lot of relationships that don't work out. I also see a lot of guys who get friend-zoned permanently. And the reason both of those things happen is because girls think that a boyfriend and a best friend are supposed to be separate things. It's sort of like diversifying; by keeping the boyfriend and best friend opposite, they don't risk putting all of their eggs into one basket. In the event that something goes wrong, they still have the other one left. 

But this seemingly reasonable thing to do is also the reason why it tends not to work out for a lot of people. Or if it does, it's not as great as they deserve/it should be. Maybe it's just me, but a significant other IS essentially a best friend that you're intimate with. If you look at all the relationships that have turned out well, you'll notice that most of them have established a pretty solid friendship before taking it a step further. 

Girls figure that when the boyfriend leaves, the best friend will be there for them. But what they don't realize is that the boyfriend's less likely to leave if they're each other's best friends, too. It's a simple formula, really - you find yourself someone who you can't get tired of, and you continue to see them. Have you ever heard someone talk about their significant other when they're madly in love? Listen to what they say, and that's essentially the formula.

I used to wonder how someone could get tired of their girlfriend. If that's the case, then maybe she shouldn't be your girlfriend. If you're not inclined to see them, then there's a good probability that you should be seeing someone else (someone who you want to see). I'm not leaving out of consideration that people get busy, or that everyone needs their own time every now and then...but sometimes I hear people bitching about how they're getting pretty tired of their boyfriend/girlfriend. And I always ask why they're still with them. The answer always seems to be "I don't know". Yet, they stay together only to realize that they should've seen it coming when they break up months later. I also realize that feelings fluctuate, but should they ever drop THAT low?

I've even heard couples scheme about how they're gonna trick their significant other and get away with something. I don't know about you guys, but I really have no real intention of lying to any of my best friends. If I have to lie to them, then I probably don't trust them enough to be their best friend (unless you're a compulsive liar. You know who you are! hahaha). I really don't see the point of playing mind games. Not only is it a waste of time...it's pretty fucking annoying - if you absolutely must do that shit, then do it when you're courting each other. How the fuck are people still playing hard to get when they're already together? 

But maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe you're supposed to get disappointed every time you separate the best friend and the boyfriend. Maybe it's supposed to be that way (no sarcasm). Of course, all of this goes out the window if you're just fucking around. But most girls aren't - so give this method a try and see how it works out for you. 

Or maybe some of you people don't want it work out for you - and if that's the case, then I get why, but I sort of don't get why you bother. Playing around with people's feelings just to boost your self-perception and security is not only a dick move, but it also ruins it for the guys who have to date the girl that you just made insecure (same applies vice-versa). 

Lastly, it's not always the girl's fault. "Nice guys" get friend-zoned because they don't have a backbone. Try being a giant pussy and see what girl wants to get romantic with a mirrored version of herself. I'm not recommending that you be an insensitive asshole - I'm just saying that you can't be someone's bitch and expect to be anything more than that.

Sure, there's less risk in diversifying. And quantitatively, there's less to lose. But qualitatively, you lose so much more. Bigger risks tend to yield bigger rewards...and if you're only in this for safety and security, then maybe you're playing the wrong game.


- knowledge

Oh, and my quote of the day is: "Even garbage cans eat steaks sometimes" - Tasha Mack. 


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