Dear self-proclaimed feminists,
Feminism's a joke.
I can understand why the whole movement would start, and the nobility of the cause...but I feel bad for anyone who TRULY headed the preceding feminist movement.
Modern-day feminism isn't about equality...its become about superiority. It's not even about trying to fight for equal rights & being seen as an equal counterpart to males. Instead of trying to become equals, many modern-day feminists try to stress the inferiorities of the male.
Don't get me wrong...I'm all for equality. I love to see an independent chick who can hold her own...but I'm tired of seeing/talking to chicks that CLAIM they do, while their actions suggest otherwise. Examples? Don't tell me how you're "your own woman" and:
- expect dudes to pay for your dinner.
- expect dudes to hold the door open for you
- pull that whole "I don't call dudes, they have to call me" bullshit
- punch dudes because you know they won't hit a woman
- act like you need a dude to define who you are
- act like you're supposed to do alternate push-ups, instead of real ones
These are simple examples, and the problem with them is that that they come with a sense of entitlement. They're little traditional habits that need to be broken if you really do see yourself as an equal. I'm not saying that guys should have the right to punch girls...but If you wanna leave the cookie-cutter image of a woman behind, then help yourselves. Now I'd GLADLY pay for dinner...if we're actually dating. I'll also gladly hold the door open, but you gotta realize that these aren't things that you're absolutely ENTITLED to. These are things that you shouldn't be expecting if you really are trying to act as equals.
My thoughts? Although I've been known to crack lots of woman jokes & inappropriate misogynistic comments, I STRONGLY believe that men and women are equal. However, I'm personally disappointed in how few are able to show it.
I can think of countless examples of chicks who are all against video hoes and the objectification of women...yet define themselves by their sexuality - all while humour, intelligence, self-sufficiency, independence, ambition, and motivation take a back seat. You're disgusted by how society treats women, yet you feed the problem.
Now I'm not sayin' there's anything wrong with being sexually comfortable with who you are...in fact, I'm all for promiscuity. You wanna give multiple guys the goods, then good for you. I'm not gonna call you a slut. I'm sure as hell not gonna judge you...just don't let that define who you are.
I'm not saying to abandon femininity, but realize that you can't expect to be treated "like a woman" when it suits you and then complain that you're being treated like women when it comes to things that aren't in your favour.
Bigs ups to the ladies who do understand this.
Peace,
- knowledge
p.s. I've has been known for being indifferent to a lot of things...and for the first time in a long while, he's felt some sort of disgust from watching a video - but that's for another post. Check back next week!
Haha, I love this.. there are enough girls who do this nowadays. But at the end of the day, it all comes down to this - TALK IS CHEAP. Real girls make it happen, and they don't need to declare their independence on their facebook statuses or "about me" information to know that. Man, we need more guys like you around here
ReplyDelete- k
^ You already know!...but who is this?!
ReplyDeleteThe one letter signage is killin' me!
- knowledge
I agree, you know I do. LOL. I've spoken openly about my feminism before (when asked of course) and I believe you termed it as Neo-feminism. but yes, I agree with this post. I don't have much to say really.. other than I need to work on the mentality of calling first I guess. I just think culturally I was brought up differently and it sometimes affects the way I deal with things although I feel and strongly believe in equality being in a country pre-puberty where men were supposed to do things women shouldn't still plays a role on how I eveluate and do things. I mean I'm working on it.. LOL.. I'll be a better feminist for my future female descendants to follow LOL .. so then they won't be as conflicted as me.
ReplyDelete^ aha...good to know that you remember that conversation. Yeah, this whole calling mentality tends to come with a stigma that if the girl calls first, she comes off as too needy.
ReplyDeleteCulturally (in Philippines), it's the man's role to chase after the women. I like how there's a lot less of that here. Another point for western society? :D
Besides, it's pretty hot when a chick chases - 'cause she knows what she wants.
But good on you for trying to adjust...
- knowledge
Haha, I don't think we know each other, but we have mutual friends. Just stumbled upon your blog & I think you've got some vibrant view on things.
ReplyDeleteI must say I'm guilty on the calling thing; I have this mentality that if a guy really wants you, he'll make it happen - is it worth chasing after someone who doesn't want to (or at least isn't showing it) chase after you?
- k
^
ReplyDeleteAhh, okay. Drop me a message on FB so I get to know who you are!
"I must say I'm guilty on the calling thing; I have this mentality that if a guy really wants you, he'll make it happen - is it worth chasing after someone who doesn't want to (or at least isn't showing it) chase after you?"
Yeah, but you gotta realize that it works the other way, too. Sure, there are the dudes that'll go head over heels over girls, chasing after girls with their tongues out...but those probably aren't the guys that you want. The bottom line is that many guys won't move without seeing some more interest. For example, I'm personally not a fan of that whole "playing hard to get" crap. I'm sure some girls love having a plethora of guys aimlessly chasing after them - but I'm not gonna be one of them.
But I do understand the whole calling mentality - in a way it also weeds out some of the people...but what if it weeds out ones that shouldn't be/you actually really do like?
Peace,
- knowledge
I would but I forgot how I found you & I can't remember your FB name!
ReplyDeleteInteresting point though. In my defence, I do go after what I want. I'm a strong believer in "making things happen". However, being raised as a traditional filpino lady, mom's always taught me to never chase after boys.. haha.
-k
^ resourcefulness is a beautiful thing ;)
ReplyDeletePoint taken. BUT, Canada's about as far as you can go from the traditional filipino lifestyle. While the morals, integrity, and conservative mindframes of the traditional FIlipino culture does hold some merit...they have to be tweaked a bit.
In other words, It's not necessarily "chasing" if you're just meeting halfway. Or you can "chase" halfway. Or just walk backwards until you get halfway, then turn around. You could also walk sideways then face each other once you get halfway. Or you could both coincidentally take a wrong turn and find each other halfway.
haha...the possibilities are endless.
- knowledge
dropped a couple of lines!
ReplyDeleteYou know what.. it's all so silly, isn't it?
-k
I like this Gaelz. I'm so tired of seeing girls stuck in their ways about what society has instilled in their minds.
ReplyDelete"I'm a strong believer in making things happen." I'm all for that as well. My motto is, if you want something, then go after it. Get some or go home! Ya feel me? Any right that a girl has to believe a guy should be the one to approach her first works both ways. She shouldn't feel as though he's obligated to do anything for her. Life doesn't work like that.
It's gonna take awhile for more then a handful of chicks to realize that but meh.
-Sam
@k:
ReplyDeleteCool, cool. I look forward to seeing future comments. It's good to know that my blog managed to reach more than just the people I tagged.
Hopefully you put the search bar to work. I'm off fb until April...so I guess it'll be a surprise then...
& yeah, it is pretty silly - which is why I can't wait to get older & deal with less trivialities.
@Sam:
Sam...muyser!? It's been a while, and way to be months late!
- knowledge
Do you really think it'll get less tricky when we get older? Haha
ReplyDelete- k
^ I'm not sure tricky would be the right world. There are a different set of problems at sets of ages...I really don't like to deal with the ones that come with mine.
ReplyDeleteIf you're really curious, try talking to someone older than you and notice how different their concepts of relationships are compared to our generation. For most people, that only seems to come with experience. I think the difference stems in how in insecurities seem to get straightened out by then (and insecurities tend to lead to the greatest trivialities). Also, the older you get, the more likely you are to figure out what you want - which results in less wasted time & effort.
- knowledge
Hm, point taken. & What do you mean you don't want to deal with 'your' problems?
ReplyDeleteIt can go both ways though. Yes you are older & perhaps wiser, but I feel like that's when we make everything so complicated. It's because we know exactly what we want & have higher standards, that people start playing 'the game'. Insecurities can even be amplified by then due to numerous relationship mishaps.. It's just ridiculous how it consumes people all because we are afraid of how we appear to others..
p.s. read your classical music post & i must say, i'm impressed! you should try doing homework w/ classical music in the background and you will go far, i promise you.
-k
"What do you mean you don't want to deal with 'your' problems?"
ReplyDeleteI never said that I don't want to deal with MY problems, but I'm guessing you took that from the first sentence of what I said. Compare the problems you face at 18 in a relationship to the problems you'll probably face a couple of years down the road and they're entirely different. The difference is that the problems a couple years down the road are ones that actually matter.
To be honest, if someone's insecurities get worse as they get older, then they're doing something wrong. Insecurities are nothing but a mental constraint - if one isn't working to fix them, they get worse. If they're getting worse, then something isn't being done to fix them. If someone's going to let numerous relationship mishaps set the criteria for future relationships, then that's a disaster waiting to happen (and a disaster that I don't want to be a part of). The point of experience is to learn from it, not to let it drag into the next relationship.
While this is interesting, I hate to cut you off, but this is really digressing from the original topic (and into another topic altogether).
Peace,
- knowledge
I was thinking about this the other day. It seems as though girls want to be seen as equals but at the same time want preferential treatment in the form of all those unwritten rules and traditions. I also have to say that changing the spelling of woman to womyn is contradictory. They miss the whole context of the word "man". It supposed to mean "human".
ReplyDeletebtw my bad for not commenting sooner...1st sem of grade 12 sucked balls
^
ReplyDelete"btw my bad for not commenting sooner...1st sem of grade 12 sucked balls"
Yeah, and to think I considered you smart...
Just playin'. I hope you've been frequenting ATP...'cause I haven't.
I look forward to future comments,
- knowledge
Interesting. Well, what can you do when you get a conversation going..
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your posts.
-k
hehe, I'm chuckling as I read this 6 months later. Yes, I've been gone for a long time Mr. Gaela. But I still appreciate your discussion-invoking posts, it's quite hilarious for that matter. Anyway, I won't make this comment too long but in all seriousness, Feminism = biggest joke. But, with the whole girls 'acting' instead of actually 'doing'... that's where the term is coined perfectly: "girls". Hello Gaela, I know you're one for quality & essence so.. all the real WOMEN please stand up just for Alvin? LOL. Anyway, with the whole "boys catch girls" concept, c'mon this is not elementary anymore. I'm glad you're also not one for games, chasing, etc. Maturity at its finest.
ReplyDeleteAs for your little promiscuity opinion... I beg to differ! Love (and making it) is totally sacred. But that's another discussion for another time.
Mad Love A.Gaelz.
Yours truly,
Jo.
If you believe strongly in equality, then why would you so "GLADLY" pay for a woman or hold a door open for her? If you were truly about equality you should expect a two-way sharing of such privileges women always had. Let her pay for a date for a change, esp if she makes as much if not more money. More men are cleaning up more, making themselves look more beautiful, so it's trading off both ways.
ReplyDeleteIt's contradictory to say you strongly believe in equality and then declare how eager you are to pay for a date and hold open a door (right after you seemed to be complaining about these very things, oh! so it's just about her not "expecting" these things! So she shouldn't expect it or feel entitled to it...then you'd go ahead and do it anyway, that makes a lot of sense-not. It doesn't make sense becasue that's the very reason why she expects and feels entitled: because you keep doing it. You have to NOT do it, and then eventually the expectations and sense of entitlements will go away. It won't go anywhere if you don't.
I think you've misconstrued the point of that statement. I'm not opening the door for them because they're women, I'm opening it because I want to. I would also open the door for a guy if I wanted to.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would argue that if equality is really the aim, then the goal isn't to let her pay for the date (unless you take turns paying), but for both of you to just split the bill.
Besides, I'm not sure that it has to be demonstrated every single time for the level of respect and equality to exist. For example, what if I let her pay for my meals for the rest of my life (yet still see each other as equals). The self-entitlement only needs to be scrapped, and both people need to understand why.